Staying afloat during change
Change is inevitable in life. To evolve, grow and learn, we have to change.
Whether it’s taking a trip to South East Asia to find yourself, quitting those bad habits or taking a new position at work, the common theme is embracing uncertainty to better yourself.
Change can appear scary, but it’s often the fear of the unknown that’s actually what we’re afraid of. The reality: we face uncertainty everyday, across hundreds if not thousands of micro-decisions. Do you risk trying that spicy Pizza, or play it safe with a Margarita? Should you give the hottest new Netflix show a chance, or re-watch Friends again? Is it worth leaving early for a train that’s always late anyway? (Sorry, EMR).
Truth is, I now f**cking love spicy Pizza. On the flip side, I missed the train.
Embracing uncertainty is a necessary part of developing as a person, and while not every decision will end positively, change is much the same.
Now I’ve got my (loosely tied together) point across with poor analogies, we can think bigger picture. Change may not always bring growth, but there is no growth without change. Deep, right? Search ‘change quotes’ on Pinterest, and you’ll get thousands more.
The trouble we have as humans is we’re as much for living our best life as we are terrified to actually do anything about it. We all have different circumstances, family and external factors can bring risk into the mix, but for most of us, it boils down to that internal fear again. To be clear, I’ve struggled with uncertainty my whole life, so I’m certainly not on a high horse. I’m scared of those too. Picture me instead clambering to stay on top of a goat. That’s about where I am.
Alongside this, when we do leap into the unknown, we’re rarely prepared. The new emotions, perspectives, routines, thoughts, people and challenges can be overwhelming. It’s like that burning house meme. If you know, you know. Basically, you’re way out of your depth.
At the beginning of 2023, I took multiple leaps of change at once and it’s safe to say I was so far out of my comfort zone, if it were a person, I couldn’t even see it in the distance. I joined the world’s leading and most prestigious advertising network.
To ease my anxiety and harness the change I was going through, there were things I started doing that improved how I felt, and whilst they may be more focused on new jobs, they can easily be applied to any scenario involving change. Throughout this article, I’ll refer to a few specific life changes for continuity sake, but these points have carried through to every part of my life.
1) Integrating familiarity eases anxiety
This first one is going to sound counter-intuitive to what I’ve just rambled about. But, think how much energy you use mentally when embracing change. It’s a lot. You’re trying to navigate so much ‘new’, your brain doesn’t get a rest.
We underestimate how much energy it’s going to take, and when this becomes difficult, integrating a small bit of familiarity can soften that constant state of disorientation. You’ve probably heard about this technique already when trying to build new habits. Simply view it as a balancing game and a way to transition to something new. You don’t have to change everything at once, and this can save some brain power for other more important things.
In my instance, I used to take a bus to work. I was now driving almost two hours on motorways to a new county. As somebody who hardly drove before, this was a change in itself, before I’d even made it to work.
Familiar music and podcasts really made this just a little bit easier. I would listen to one of my favourites, ‘The Ricky Gervais Show’ in the morning, which brought a lighter touch to some of the stress, anxiety and tension I was feeling. A few quick suggestions could be:
make a playlist of your favourite songs for the commute
re-listen to a podcast you love
try and maintain any routines that bring fulfilment
2) Take each moment as it comes
Off the back of integrating familiarity, it’s important to remember, that you’re likely going to be unbelievably tired. It’s okay to feel like this. The change can feel all-encompassing, especially if it’s life-changing. A new job or home is life-changing, whatever people may say.
There is only so much you can do, and everybody will have a different experience. Ease your expectations of yourself and start taking each moment as it comes. Focus on the small wins and try not to kick yourself, lead with an open mind. A few ways you can make this a little easier is by:
staying in touch with your friends and family
enjoying yourself outside of what you’re embracing
knowing when taking some time for yourself may be what you need
journalling about your progress, and finding ways to manage thought patterns
reminding yourself why you embarked on your journey in the first place
Going back to my story, in this instance, I wasn’t just learning a new role. Like most larger (and/or global) companies, there were countless processes to remember and hundreds of people to get to know. Partnering this with the commute, a bunch of new hobbies I was trying to learn and trying to prove myself, I was finishing each day with zero social battery.
It made me realise I needed to dig into my mind and body more than ever, and truly just go with the flow. Remember, when you’re undergoing significant change in your life, go easy on yourself. You’re not going to be at 100% capacity mentally like you may have been before, for at least 3-6 months you’ll be using a lot of energy on this ‘new thing’, which means you may have to hold or slow down other parts of your life.
It’s all about reading how you feel. Sounds more spiritual than it is. You can do it by journalling or daily check-ins, which is conveniently my next point. You lucky person.
3) Check-ins & journaling
Write it down.
You’ve probably heard this again and again throughout life. If you can, making time for journalling, change or not, works wonders for your mental state. It would be pretty naive of me to preach this though, because as good as journalling is, I always find it another thing to do.
To get a surface-level read on how you’re feeling, you can try check-ins instead. There are loads of apps you can download which have mood tracking for free, or create something on paper, as long as you can visually see a record of your moods.
For me, I recommend ‘Daylio’ and set up a daily notification preferably in the evening. You can customise your mood choices and activities you typically do, and if you want to start exploring your thoughts a little more, there’s a notes functionality. At a glance, you can see a chart of how your mood fluctuates and what you were doing to trigger it.
When I joined this new job, at the end of every day I would complete a Daylio entry. Very quickly, I was working out what I needed to do more or less, and the activities I’d set up prompted me to keep making time for self-care.
Interestingly, if I knew I’d had a particularly challenging day, being able to acknowledge it meant I went into the next day being nicer to myself. This app, and process, I’ve taken forward into so many other new adventures too.
This is a form of self-care, and that’s what ties all of these points together. Because the best way to embrace change is to:
4) Look after yourself
This is what it all boils down to. Simply looking after yourself, as much as you can.
Maybe the Pizza analogy wasn’t the best to use at the start.
There are so many ways to embrace change in life. I’m hoping this short piece will serve as a prompt to begin embracing change more often and a guide to a few ways you can make it a little easier.
Your way of self-care is a personal choice and there’s no right or wrong way to do so. For some, it’s playing a game, watching a TV show or reading. Others, it may be mindfulness, exercise or a long bath.
The truth is, change is really good for you, but it can be scary. Take that leap forward, and feel assured.
Remember, change may not always bring growth, but there is no growth without change.
Note: This blog was written in 2023, but recently re-found in my archives.
